Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The Night Before, August 16, 2003

It was a day like any other. However, this was always my favorite day of the week, Sunday. Many had accused me over the years that it was the only day I worked. They would say that, turn away, and laugh under their breath. Somehow, I always believed they meant it. You see, I'm a pastor, hence the joke.

I remember that morning....mostly. For many months, I couldn't remember what went on not only on that day, but many days before that. The night before, a good friend of mine, Jeff, came over to deliver some signs he had created for our church. They looked good. We encouraged each other, laughed together, and prayed for one another before he left a couple of hours later.

Now I could spend some time reading over my message for the next day. The message was going to encourage people to fight the battle that was ahead...whatever it might be. God had promised Joshua to be strong and take courage because He would be with him. Little did I know the foreboding nature of that very same message. Truly a message not for the people of the church, but for this pastor.  I would need it over and over again in the days and months and years ahead. Even the clip I was going to use to illustrate my point was from a popular movie that had the hero picking up the flag and moving it forward when there seemed to be nothing ahead of his charge but sure death. Hmmmm... would I be willing to listen to my own message?

The bed felt good that night. I easily walked through the house, up the stairs, and then tiredly flopped into bed with my  wife of just over 20 years, Kelly. She had always been such a great support and encouragement. She had loved me when I wasn't lovely, forgave me when I didn't deserve it, and supported me through the dumb decisions of my life. She was and still is the love of my life. Besides all that, she was beautiful and sweet and kind and...but I digress.

I turned over, kissed her goodnight, cut the light out, and laid my head on my pillow. I never was good about going to sleep the night before I was to share the Word of God with His people. Besides, we were hoping for some guests the next day...and wasn't this Shawn and Lisa's last Sunday before returning to Arizona to watch our borders? My mind turned thought after thought as my head was neatly tucked into the down pillow. I laid there for  an hour or so before finally drifting off into restless sleep. I would need all the rest I could get.

This would be my last night in this bed...ever. Had I known what was about to happen, what would I have done that last night? What would have changed? Would I have slept at all?